Uncomfortable Situations
by sophiexindeed
Summary: Things just have a way of going wrong when Light and Fang  are involved.


_Life, if you're particularly pessimistic, could be interpreted as a series of mishaps. Light and Fang share more than a few, in no particular chronological order._

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><p><strong>i.<strong>

Fang had never been the type of person to fidget nervously. Most of Oerba's citizens thought Yun Fang simply felt no fear; those closest to her knew she simply refused to let fear decide for her. Had it really only been half an hour ago that she'd done just that? She distinctly recalled Light demanding an impromptu group meeting whose sole purpose was to announce her decision to scout deeper into the Faultwarrens. Fang's immediate response was to just as abruptly inform Light she'd be accompanying her. She couldn't just let Light run off and get herself killed; she'd spent _days _learning to navigate Light's emotional minefield and she'd be damned if she let all that effort go to waste.

Then, as suddenly as her confidence had appeared, it just as quickly disappeared when she realized she was going to be alone with Light for a while. Never had Fang, the bright future of the Yun clan, experienced such a rapid and absolute eradication of her nerve; hell, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd been anxious about anything that wasn't about Vanille.

_We have lots of stuff in common, _she reasoned internally; she just had to fake it 'til she made it. Fang cleared her throat "Hey, Light?"

Light's abrupt stride faltered. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering.." Fang choked down her nervousness and looked up to meet Light's gaze. "Are all the weapons on Cocoon as, ah…complicated as yours?"

The soldier pondered her question, shifting from one leg to the other. "I wouldn't say they're all _equally _complicated; dual weapons like my gunblades are as difficult to master as they are deadly. Only the most dedicated soldiers qualify to wield one." Light gestured towards their path and began walking again; Fang matched her stride significantly less tense. "We can't have every cocky recruit stabbing themselves because they couldn't be bothered to learn how to switch from gun to blade mode properly."

Fang laughed; who knew her favorite soldier actually possessed a sense of humor? "Of course, would be terrible for publicity." _Oh wow. She's smiling at me._ She fought the urge to gulp and forged ahead with the conversation. "Guns are standard issue for all of Cocoon's military forces, yeah?"

"As a rule, yes. Firearms are deadly in the short range, midrange, and long range; blade, bow, spear, and pole weapons simply don't measure up." It took her about two seconds to realize exactly how offended Fang was. _Smooth, soldier. _Light cleared her throat. "The wiser personnel often keep blades or crossbows as secondary weapons, of course, not to mention the few who wield dual weapons," she added.

Still, she said nothing. It made her very anxious.

"Fang? Have I misspoken? What is it?"

"Do you really wanna know?"

Light stiffened; that question sounded oddly ominous. It wasn't like Fang at all. The Fang she knew was only serious about one thing, ever; Vanille. She turned slightly to really get a good look at the huntress, and was surprised to find Fang looking right at her. "I respect you as a warrior and trust in your opinions and input," she admitted and looked away. The embarrassment of that admission was too much.

"My clan, the Yun, is composed of mostly direct descendants of the hunter-gatherers who originally made their home in the Archylte Steppe. Hunting lore has been passed down and perfected generation by generation. This is the first and most important rule of all: 'Every single hunt is a contest between two living beings who want to survive.' That's why we never used traps; to do so would be to blatantly disregard a living being's right to fight for their life, even if that meant putting our lives on the line with every hunt."

Light frowned. "GC squads put their lives on the line every day to protect civilians and maintain law and order."

"That's not what I meant at all." Fang sighed, forcing herself to remain calm. "If you've got a spear and a man points a gun at you, its checkmate. If that man had a sword, you can fight for your life. Guns turn fearless warriors into cowards."

The confused frown intensified into a glare. "So you think I'm a coward, then," Light stated coldly, crossing her arms over her chest. The idea hurt her more than she wanted to admit.

_Wow, this is going really badly. _"You're one of the bravest people I know," Fang corrected; she didn't know whether Light's powers of misinterpretation were impressive or frustrating. "You and I, we're the sort of people who prefer to confront our enemies head on; that's how every man, woman and child of the Yun clan does it. Over half of those recruits will never be s-" And in that moment, an agonizing pain radiated from her shin, overriding all her higher mental functions.

Before she could even begin to understand her agony, her body instinctually propelled her into a sitting position that allowed her to gingerly examine her throbbing left shin; she sharply tilted her head upwards and narrowed her eyes at a particularly sharp rocky ledge that elevated the entire path by a good 2 feet. "AHHH FUCK-Maker fucking damn it what the shitOWWWWWW _thisistheworstpainI'veeverfeltinmyentirelife _WHO in the FUCK decided _this stupid fucking ledge _ was a _good_ idea, I will find them and kill them if its the last thing I do."

"I feel just…peachy….thank you for asking." That had to be Light; only she could be sarcastic at a time like this. _She sounds a little off...maybe she hit her shin too?_

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck- if this ain't the _worst_ thing that's ever happened to you you're lying." Fang massaged the area around her injury gently with the pads of her fingers; upon hitting a sensitive spot, she hissed under her breath. She tilted her head back to check on the unusually quiet soldier. "Are you all right?"

Said soldier's hand helped supported her weight against the ravine. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing slowly, almost as if she was meditating. "It'll pass soon enough," Light assured, her voice a great deal calmer.

"It damn well better," Fang grumbled. When the pain finally faded to a dull throb, she opened her eyes and met Light's gaze; a wordless understanding passed between them.

"No one will know of this."

"Not _one _soul."

* * *

><p><strong>ii.<br>**

When Claire was young, her mom always gushed over her grace and athleticism. The way her mom saw it, her Claire had been put on Cocoon by Etro to dance. Now that Lightning was an adult, she wondered how her mother would feel; she danced, yes, but her partner was a gunblade and her dance was war. Somehow, she didn't think her mother would approve.

This gorgonopsid was the last representative of his pack, and probably the most dangerous; he was injured just enough to be infuriated and isolated enough for his survival instinct to become outright desperation. He reared up to deliver his noxious breath, but she backflipped out of his reach before he could poison her. Dangerous really was a relative term.

To her right, Hope was charging a minor Curaga; sufficient to heal their minor cuts and bruises, even though they didn't particularly need it. He didn't have the stomach to put down a wounded animal, no matter how merciful it may be; she was at least grateful he had no such reservations towards PSICOM, their machines, their warped biological weapons, or any Fal'Cie they'd faced.

To her left, Fang slowly switched stances from a defensive stance she'd just recently learned to her usual offensive stance. She met Light's eyes and grinned, and an unspoken agreement passed between them; whoever gets the most kills today wins. Light lunged at the animal, swinging her gunblade up in a horizontal slash. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a flash of deep red, but she was too focused on her target to pay it any mind – until that flash of deep red flew past her and caught the perplexed gorgonopsid in the shoulder, splintering bone and splitting flesh until it ground to a halt against the creature's spine. It's pained howl was cut short as her blade took advantage of the creature's exposed neck. "Tch. Easy."

Fang's frustrated whine left her smirking, glad for whatever little victory she could grab. She was fast, true, but Fang hit hard and more often than not it was her landing the killing blows. Normally, Light wouldn't care; their strategy required her to coordinate with Hope and overwhelm the creature with a flurry of attacks, and then Fang would tend to the heavy hitting. Today was different though. Today, it was _hot_. Not hot as in, _Oh dear I must take off my sweater._ It was _hot,_ as in _I want to take off all of my clothes and dive in a pool but my skin will become hideous black char_ hot. She didn't perform well in extreme heat; her pale skin refused to darken, it just stung.

Light sighed and tugged at her belt, pulling one leather strap out of the buckle and then the other. She shrugged her jacket off, cape and all, and as she began to fold both jacket and cape neatly, she had a sinking sensation someone was staring at her. Hope knew better; that left Fang, who was apparently enamored with her newly exposed midriff and lower back. She rolled her eyes and absently cursed whatever army genius decided it'd be a good idea to have a sleeveless zip up turtleneck that cut off at the midriff underneath her jacket – and when the faintest whiff of a breeze whispered past her sweaty skin in the most refreshing way, she immediately changed her mind and blessed his name.

"That feels awesome," Hope breathed out, arms spread with his jacket clutched in one hand. Undoubtedly his sweat soaked undershirt had dropped several degrees and felt great. "Ohhhh wow…"

Light chuckled at him and offered him a brief smile. She twisted around so she could place the cape and jacket against her back, and then wrapped the jacket's belt snugly below the bottom of her breasts; having the leather belt rub against the thick material of her sort of turtleneck was preferable to rubbing her skin off. She was rather irked to note she _still_ felt Fang's eyes on her; it was as if her acknowledgment hadn't done a thing to snap Fang out of it. Or maybe she didn't care how weird it was to stare wordlessly at people.

"If you're done staring, Fang, now would be the time to catch up to the others," she advised airily, walking in a direction she hoped was north; north meant the Mah'habara Subterra and glorious shade. Losing her temper with Fang never ended well.

Hope rushed to her side immediately, but Fang preferred overtaking her slowly with her slightly longer stride. She caught up quickly enough, walking half a pace ahead of Light and rather obviously treating her eyes to the sight of her bellybutton ring. "Remember all that stuff I said about stodgy Cocoon girls being soft and dumb and weak?"

Lightning turned her head to raise an eyebrow at Fang, and was very annoyed to discover her eyes riveted on her legs now. Honestly, as if Fang didn't see them every single day. She stopped walking and turned to face her newest, favoritest admirer with her fists firmly set on against her hips. "No."

"Good, 'cause that was really dumb." Fang's slow appreciative gaze roamed slowly up Light's lovely long legs and felt as if they went on for miles. The skirt was a minor interruption and then there was nothing but flat, lightly muscled tummy decorated with a single silvery piercing on her navel. Her most tragic discovery was that the swell of her breasts was covered by the damn thickest shirt she'd ever seen in her life. _But her lovely pink lips certainly make up for it. And her eyes, such pretty blue eyes, such…narrow blue eyes. Furrowed eyebrows…clenched jaw…oh wow I think she's snarling?_

It was the first time Light saw realization, fear, _and_ regret so openly expressed on Fang's pretty face, and nearly simultaneously too. It was _almost _as satisfying as Fang's cry of surprise and pain when Light's fist made contact with her right eye socket.

Later on that day, Hope told everyone a crazed gorgonopsid got a lucky shot, and he was believed by exactly nobody.

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><p><strong>iii.<strong>

In the 25 years since Sazh had first made his debut into the dating field, he'd come to understand the first truth; straight women unanimously loved romantic comedy. This knowledge had led to his understanding of the second truth; straight men unanimously detested them. It was his marriage that ultimately taught him the secret to surviving those terrible movies; if he zoned out and retreated into his mind, he could spend that time reviewing whatever pressing issues he needed to deal with. Sort of like he was doing right now.

Sazh blinked slowly, completely oblivious to the ancient Gran Pulse holographic film projected from an equally ancient holodisc player. Currently occupying his thoughts was the rapidly evolving friendship between the two older girls. Things had started out pretty rocky, but Fang was easily the most persistent woman he'd ever met. She'd even gone so far as to accomplish what Snow had dubbed the impossible; Fang made Light giggle, _in front of everybody._

It all started when Fang appropriated an apron decorated with Moogles, and then announced to everyone she'd be making lunch today. Then she kicked them all out, even Vanille, 'to protect the creative process.' When lunch time finally arrived, not one of the Cocoon natives had any trouble finding the building; they simply had to follow the smell of pancakes. The table was set, but there was a disturbing lack of pancakes on it; they seated themselves and waited impatiently for two minutes. When Fang _finally_ appeared , a plate full of pancakes was not the only thing she brought with her; a flour moustache was smeared on her lip. Then, _it_ happened; Light started giggling and couldn't stop herself for a good 7 seconds. It was…cute. She was now denying it ever happened, but the damage had been done. He wondered what would happen to Fang for upsetting the natural balance.

Hope wiggled impatiently in his seat, snapping Sazh out of his trance. The older man blinked at the holofilm right in front of him; it was paused in the middle of a very uncomfortable looking sex scene. To the right, Snow and Hope were fidgeting. To the left, Light was staring down little Vanille.

"Light, you _promised_ me you'd let me choose what _we_ should all do together." The little redhead crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't break a _promise, _Light."

"It's my fault._. _I should have never let you choose." Light pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "A romantic comedy about a priest and a prostitute? Seriously? This is the _creepiest_ movie I have ever seen. I'm out of here."

"It's just telling us that nothing else matters as long as you love each other!" Vanille huffed. Why was she the ONLY one who liked it at all? "That doesn't even really matter; we're supposed to be watching this _together_." Her eyes watered; for a second, her lip wobbled. "What if we never see each other again? Even if it's a little strange, we should share this memory together."

"The world will not end because I didn't want to watch a creepy movie," Light spoke softly, uncrossing her arms. Why did Vanille have to get all sensitive about it, all she wanted to do was enjoy her night instead of give her nightmares bold new ideas.

"Ain't about the movie." Fang leaned forward to rest her elbows upon her thighs. "'It's about us never forgetting this _god awful, _creepy movie, and never forgetting each other. That is, unless you'd prefer to remember tonight as the night you made Vanille cry and then stormed out to be all by yourself."

Light opened her mouth to reply, and was dismayed to find she had none. She closed it and sighed. Getting stuck between a rock and a hard place was the story of her life.

"Jeez, you don't have to be so depressed about it," Fang teased, scooting over into Sazh's old spot. She patted the empty spot now between herself and Vanille. "Sit with me, we can make fun of it real quiet-like if you want."

Vanille beamed brightly at Light, tears long forgotten. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

And so Light did. _Is Fang the Sergeant whisperer or something? _

The lights went off, and then movie finally started up again. This time, only half of the L'Cie were even watching. Light and Fang took full advantage of the relative darkness to close the distance between them, the murmur of their whispers drowned out by the holofilm's strange Calypso music.

Sazh glanced at them curiously; they just looked so intimate there, like they were in their own little world. Wait. The first rule, of _course!_ Straight women love romantic comedies, Lightning and Fang apparently hated them as much as he did. It all made sense now. He grinned and turned to look at them again – _really_ look at them and see what he'd been oblivious to.

Fang turned to look at him, feeling a little miffed; he just gave her a knowing look and smiled, then looked away.

_Wow…barely 40 and I'm already senile. How in the hell did I miss that?_

* * *

><p><strong>iv.<strong>

"I don't really understand how an Elixir's supposed to help us. We're not running dry and we're not injured either," Hope mumbled halfheartedly, scratching his head.

Vanille absently chewed on one of her fingers, eyebrows furrowed as if in deep concentration. "Hm, how do I say this…you know how we're always firing off spell after spell like there's a huge never ending well of magic power inside us ready for us to use?"

"I guess…" Hope mirrored her facial expression, chewing on his thumb instead, then finally grinned. "Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about!"

"And it's totally wrong!" she agreed with equal enthusiasm, then giggled. "Sorry. You see, if we go for too long without really getting some rest and relaxation, then we just get more and more tired and its harder and harder to cast spells. If we find an Elixir, that'll replenish both of our bodies _and _the magic inside."

Vanille tugged on Hope's hand, then pointed at one of the many rock 'islands' surrounding Sulyya Springs' main stone floor; on top of it, a familiar blue jar gleamed. If Vanille was entirely honest with herself, she had to admit they tended to find the most unlikely items in the most unlikely places. The distal end of a progression of stone platforms in northern Sulyya Springs had to be a new one. _How on earth did this stuff even get there? …maybe there's a Stuff Fairy._

"How'd you know that was gonna be there?"

"It was the Stuff Fairy," she affirmed with a confident nod. "I get these hunches sometimes. Go get it for us and don't drop it, okay?"

Hope bit back his grumbles and began hopping stones; thanks to Mother Nature's mercy, they were just far enough apart for a boy to leap across without risking any injury. A couple minutes later, he leapt back onto the main rock with the jar clutched in his hand.

Vanille smiled at him indulgingly. "Go ahead and drink half of it. We're smaller than most people, so half should be just perfect." She held her hands behind her back, anxiously watching him twist the cap off and gulp down half the Elixir, then handed it to her. She finished it without hesitation and frowned; a little sour for her taste.

After a mighty burp, Hope's eyes widened; she burped a couple seconds later and was suddenly overcome with what felt like a mix of pure adrenaline and a warm, comfortable sensation radiating from deep within her belly. After another ten seconds, it faded away, leaving her feeling refreshed in the utmost sense of the word.

Vanille beamed at Hope and grabbed his hand again; this time, instead of running, she skipped to camp with all the boundless energy of an elementary school brat. Hope jogged behind her, but his lack of enthusiasm for skipping didn't bother her at all; once she was close enough, she was _way_ too bewildered and enthralled to be bothered by anything really.

Sazh was perched on a rock nearby, scratching his head in confusion.

Snow was trying his hardest not to laugh.

And squirming, writhing, and whimpering on the floor were two very miserable women covered with an unhealthy number of what was either spider or mosquito bites. Fang exhaled a sigh of relief upon seeing her. "Vanille, thank God you're here, there were mos-"

And then Vanille fell victim to a fit of giggles. "Oh god Fang…Light…covered…itchy!" The giggles grew into laughs which became great guffaws. She collapsed to the floor thanks to the intensity of her mirth; moments later, Sazh joined in, followed by a very relieved Snow – if it wasn't him who started it, he couldn't be blamed. Laughter erupted from Fang's mouth, having never been one to hold a grudge or miss out on a good joke, and eventually even Hope and Light joined in with distinctly more reserved giggles.

After the laughs died down, Fang sat right back down on her hands and cleared her throat awkwardly. "So, uh…d'ya think you can heal us now guys?"

"Ow…yeah okay," Vanille whimpered from the floor, clutching her stomach; she'd laughed way, way too hard. One of her hands was lifted into the air, . The spell split in two and plunged into their bodies; within moments, the mosquito bites were gone and their skin was once again perfectly clear.

"So, what exactly happened?" Hope asked, his voice wavering somewhere between shy and curious.

"Well me and Light decided to spar to work out some mind issues and stuff, right?" spoke the tallest Oerban. "So we decide to fight up on one of those rock platforms, except we don't notice a bunch of stagnant pools."

Light smirked and shook her head. "I was so intent on beating her, I didn't even notice half my battle was with those damn bugs."

"Same here. By the time we noticed we were just slapping mosquitoes off instead of sparring at all anymore, it was way too late." Fang grimaced. "It was so itchy…"

* * *

><p><strong>v.<strong>

Fang had at first been fairly peeved by the surprise appearance of dark rain clouds on the distant horizon; it was her first day back in her beloved homeland in a good 500 years and she'd been hoping to see a real sunset. If she was perfectly honest, though, they had been racing at a breakneck pace from Bodhum to Palumpolum to the Palamecia before jumping headlong into the wilds of Gran Pulse. It was only fitting their little ragtag group would be forced to set up camp in a mere 30 minutes before the skies began dumping gallons of water on their heads. It would follow, then, that their wordlessly appointed leader would trudge to the fork between the main road and the wreckage and take the first watch before anyone could protest. This was despite her being the most exhausted and not the least bit qualified.

Fang held her tongue though, letting Light keep up appearances as much as she liked; she tugged a sleepy half-responsive Vanille to their makeshift shelter precariously perched between the eastern rocky edifice that lined Vallis Media, a particularly rebellious rock jutting out from its base nearly as tall as little Vanille, and those weird metal pins and fiberglass pole things Cocoon folk thought made a proper tent. It was the ugliest tent she'd ever made in her life, but a seat at the entrance allowed her to protect Vanille from the elements and gave her a nice view of the lightly sagging figure of Lightning. Their fearless leader was willing to take on Mother Nature and her own mortal body's biology in her quest to keep them safe.

For two _long_ hours.

And even though the moon had finally broken through the clouds, a dreary drizzle still determinedly dripped from the heavens.

_It'd be almost honorable if it wasn't so damn stupid._ Fang frowned and leaned her head back against the rock behind her. If she had all of her limbs, she'd have stormed out and dragged Lightning into her tent kicking and screaming and knocked her out cold, but unfortunately Vanille had taken her right hand hostage between her two smaller, softer ones. She absently rubbed a small circle into a little hand – and then immediately jerked to attention when Light finally turned around and made a beeline for the gentlemen's tent. A muffled kick and a muffled grumble later, Snow was staggering out of his tent towards the fork while Light glanced from tent to tent. When Light finally made up her mind to plop herself down on the ground at a point equidistant between two tents, Fang couldn't help but chuckle.

"You know, Light, there's plenty of room in our tent to fit one more," she spoke, just loud enough to be heard without running the risk of waking sleeping beauty.

"No," Light bit out sharply - then paused. "Thank you. I wouldn't want to intrude," she finished more softly.

Fang scoffed. She didn't know whether it was an honor, exactly, that Light had chosen to reject her idea politely, but it sure was amusing. "Well, don't you worry. Ain't nothin' to intrude on except Vanille's snoring."

Light held her gaze with cutting cerulean eyes, as if dissecting her body language would discern some ulterior motive. "I'd really rather not."

"They ever teach you anything about the conservation of heat in the army?" Fang tilted her head, meeting her eyes without so much as a flinch or a pause. "If limb retention is important to you, I'd suggest you get your arse over here soldier. Gran Pulse nights aren't as sweet and cozy outside the cocoon." Light finally looked away, and when Fang squinted her eyes a bit, she swore she saw Light nervously biting her bottom lip. Trick of the light, had to be- nonetheless, now was the time to act before her adversary found her footing again. "Not only that but you're damn exhausted; you'll be of no use to anybody sleep deprived and sore." Fang's lips quirked into a lopsided grin, half-hearted in the face of her exhaustion. "And if it's your virtue you're worried about, not to worry. Just ain't proper to molest an innocent girl next to your little sister."

It was Light's turn to scoff. "_Fine,_ if only to keep you quiet," she grumbled. Standing was less than a graceful affair; she swayed a bit more than usual and took much longer planning a safe path to the ladies' tent, but she eventually scurried inside the tent and plopped herself down a foot away from Fang's left.

Fang raised an eyebrow at her, taking in her rigid posture. "How did you _ever_ pass military school? Is this honestly what sharing heat looks like in Cocoon?" She beckoned to Light with her left arm and Light begrudgingly scooted closer and closer until Fang's arm finally wrapped itself around her shoulder and brought her flush against Fang. And still, she refused to relax; much the opposite, she seemed to solidify even further.

Fang chuckled a little, prompting Light to sharply turn her head and look right into her eyes with a very miffed frown. With what seemed to be a Herculean effort, Fang finally felt Light relax against her. As sleep overcame her, her once taut body gently crumpled and snuggled until she'd made herself very comfortable against Fang's side. And as Fang fell asleep, she couldn't help but feel as if maybe Light had always belonged by her side.

* * *

><p><em>A big thanks to HeyDiddle, without whom this fic literally would not exist. Thanks for urging me to write again, constantly nursing my wounded ego, helping me with ideas, kicking my ass into gear to finish this quickly, and reading it to make sure it isn't shit. I guess this one's for you :3.<em>


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